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How to Divorce a Narcissist and Win


Divorcing a narcissist, and coming out on top, requires a deep understanding of this disorder and tenacity to avoid falling victim to the narcissist’s tactics. While this process is not easy, coming out victorious in the proceedings is possible. Individuals must learn how to negotiate and how to protect their finances in these cases.


Understand a Narcissist’s Tactics

To divorce a narcissist and win, an individual must first understand the common tactics these individuals use. Bait and switch is a common one. The narcissist will often offer something, like money or influence, then turn that into an insult. This tactic makes the victim look like the person who is at fault.

Narcissists will also often use scare tactics to bully and abuse their victims. The silent treatment and verbal assault are common in this tactic. Narcissists may also start alienating their spouses from friends or family members to keep them compliant.

Finally, if children are involved, the narcissist is likely to use them against their ex. They may shower the children with gifts to try to win their affection away from the other parent, or they may force the children to choose sides or avoid contact with their ex.

By understanding these tactics and working with divorce lawyers who can identify them, individuals can position themselves for a successful divorce, even against a narcissist.

Protecting Finances Is Essential

Narcissists often position themselves in the marriage in such a way that they control the finances. This can make the divorce process extremely difficult because the ex-spouse is left with little income. Working with skilled divorce lawyers can help protect against financial ruin.

Before entering the divorce, victims of a narcissist should start documenting as much of their financial well-being as they can. This will help provide proof of financial abuse and control, which divorce lawyers can use in building the case.

Next, individuals should start saving some of their own money. This can help protect them against the abuse as they move toward divorce.

Negotiating Smart

Smart negotiation is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Divorce lawyers who recognize the tactics used can better ignore them or work around them when negotiating. The emotional vulnerability and longstanding abuse common with narcissists’ victims make it hard for the ex to enter this process. That is why working with a team of divorce lawyers is beneficial in these cases.

Uncontested divorce lawyer Denise Erlich is passionate about helping divorcing couples in the greater Chicagoland area transition to their new life as seamlessly as possible. Ms. Erlich patiently guides her clients through every step of the divorce process and provides clients with candid advice about their case and legal options, so they can make informed decisions about their future.

Years of Experience: More than 20 years
Illinois Registration Status: Active
Bar & Court Admissions: Illinois State Bar Association U.S. District Court, Northern District of Illinois
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