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Can I Date During a Divorce in Illinois?

Young couple sitting on couch after a fight. date during a divorce

Legally, you can date during a divorce in DuPage County, but that does not mean you should. Many aspects of dating could affect the split, perhaps prolonging the process, complicating custody talks, and stressing you financially.

Young couple sitting on couch after a fight. date during a divorce

A divorce lawyer in Illinois can help you be proactive about dating and divorce and your responsibilities as a parent or spouse. Call Erlich Law Office at (630) 538-5331 for advice.

Can Dating During Divorce Impact Child Custody and Support?

Dating during divorce can affect child custody and support. That does not mean it always does.

Illinois family courts focus on the best interests of the child. While dating alone is not necessarily a negative factor, the circumstances of your dating life may raise concerns. The following variables related to dating could be harmful:

  • A new partner with a questionable background (examples: undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, a criminal history, substance abuse issues, untreated mental health concerns, or an unstable living situation)
  • Frequent schedule changes that interfere with parenting time and parenting responsibilities
  • New-partner introductions that are too soon
  • Partners staying overnight while the children are present

The other parent or the courts in DuPage County may view some types of dating behavior as prioritizing personal life over the child’s needs. As far as child support goes, dating is unlikely to directly impact these calculations. State guidelines use factors such as income to decide child support amounts.

Alimony is another reason speaking with a divorce attorney is important if you or your ex begin dating during the split. Attorneys can help you figure out if the new relationship might impact spousal support negotiations or existing orders.

The presence of a new partner could influence these discussions, for example, if the partner contributes to your living expenses, or you live together. The median gross rent in DuPage County is $1,628. Shouldering it alone can be different from splitting it in half with a romantic partner.

Cohabitation can be a reason for courts to reduce or terminate spousal maintenance if you date during a divorce. Factors include the depth of shared finances such as joint accounts and shared bills, length and consistency of the relationship with the partner, and overnight stays. A partner may have been one reason for the divorce filing.

What Illinois Courts Consider When Evaluating Dating and Divorce Issues

Since Illinois is a no-fault divorce state, no one has to prove wrongdoing to file for divorce. Still, does infidelity influence divorce outcomes? In many ways, no, but it can play a role.

One area is dissipation of marital assets. This could occur if one spouse spent marital funds on gifts, vacations, or support for a new romantic partner. The judge might compensate the non-spending spouse during asset division.

Courts also weigh whether the new relationship causes tension or conflict that affects the children or complicates co-parenting. This could occur if one parent frequently leaves young children home alone to attend to the desires of a new romantic partner. The act of dating itself may not cause problems. Rather, problems may occur depending on how dating behaviors during a divorce connect with your responsibilities as a parent and spouse.

Should You Talk to a Divorce Lawyer About Dating While Separated in DuPage County?

It is smart to talk with a divorce lawyer before you begin dating or as soon as you start dating. Each divorce is unique. A divorce attorney can help you understand how dating might affect your particular case.

Your lawyer can advise you on best practices for Illinois child custody and dating. For example, your lawyer may recommend keeping your relationship discreet until the divorce is final or avoid introducing your children to the new partner too soon.

Perception matters, too. Your behavior during the divorce can influence negotiations, mediation outcomes, and trial strategies. The other side might use your dating life to argue that you do not focus on the children’s needs and that you are behaving irresponsibly. An attorney can help you proactively manage these concerns.

If your spouse is dating already, your lawyer can assess whether issues such as dissipation of assets or inappropriate behavior in front of the children are relevant to raise. These considerations can affect parenting plans, financial settlements, and other areas. Here are some questions to ask a divorce lawyer about dating:

  • Will dating affect my custody or parenting time arrangements?
  • Can my spouse claim I am wasting marital assets if I pay for a vacation with my new partner?
  • Should I include my new partner in court documents or parenting plans?
  • How should I talk to my children about my dating life?
  • Can my spouse’s dating activity help my case?

Are You Emotionally Ready to Date During a Divorce?

Some people are emotionally ready to date during a divorce and make it work well. Other people are not ready to date.

Divorce can leave people feeling lonely, betrayed, or eager to move on. Entering a new relationship too soon can complicate both your healing process and your legal case. Issues to ponder may include whether you are ready to handle your children’s emotional responses to your dating, and whether a new relationship would add calm or chaos to your life.

Getting involved romantically while you are disentangling your previous life may lead to misunderstandings, false starts, or regrets. It may cloud your judgment during settlement talks or parenting negotiations, especially if a new partner influences decisions. If you do decide to date, being proactive and thoughtful about it puts yourself in the best position possible. Erlich Law Office can offer guidance. Contact us today to talk about dating during a divorce.

Uncontested divorce lawyer Denise Erlich is passionate about helping divorcing couples in the greater Chicagoland area transition to their new life as seamlessly as possible. Ms. Erlich patiently guides her clients through every step of the divorce process and provides clients with candid advice about their case and legal options, so they can make informed decisions about their future.

Years of Experience: More than 20 years
Illinois Registration Status: Active
Bar & Court Admissions: Illinois State Bar Association U.S. District Court, Northern District of Illinois
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